Whether or not to marry an HIV positive person - the students debate

I enjoy reading the works of the students, whom my wife teaches here at Chikankata Higher Secondary School. Here are compositions by two of the Class XI students when they are asked to write a letter encouraging or discouraging their brother who has decided to marry an HIV positive woman. One can learn about the awareness level of the students on HIV/AIDS, and their attitudes towards the disease. These works of the students clearly depict the extent of impact HIV/AIDS on the household economy and the community life. Thanks to the effective community coping strategy the Zambians developed, the disease, however, fails to disrupt the strong social cohesion pattern of the Zambian society.

This letter discourages marrying an HIV positive person:

Dear brother,

First of all, I would like to greet, hope you are fine that side. As for me I am just okay and the family here is just okay.

Coming to the main point of writing this letter to you is that, I heard that you are marrying next year. It’s good to hear that, but the woman you want to marry is HIV positive. I just want to tell you that you can’t marry a woman who is HIV positive because, you won’t even stay with her for a long time. She may die or yourself may die soon. And another thing is that you will also get the virus which causes AIDS. That will make you die fast, as you know men die faster than woman if they have the virus. When you die, you may leave your children; those children may suffer financial problems. As you know that in our family we are not rich enough to help your children to let them go to school, they will just end up loitering in the streets and may become thieves and prostitutes. The other thing is that when you die it will be a great loss for the family. You know that you are the only one who can help us in financial problems for you are the only one who is educated.

In conclusion, I would like to advise you not to marry that woman, because she will just bring us problems. Actually she is not the only girl in this world. If you don’t mind I will help you to look for someone else and not that one. So if you want to die fast, go ahead. But just know that your marriage will not be blessed because our parents are not happy about your idea. So stop it before it is too late for you.

Tusela Kooma

I personally like the following letter more for it is full of hope and life.
Dear Martin,

How are you and the family there in Chooma? Chikankata is just fine, only the coldness.

My main purpose of writing is to congratulate you on the issue I heard. I heard that you want to marry and that the woman you want to marry is HIV positive. But I would encourage you that if you really love the woman from deep down your heart and she really loves you, go ahead and marry her. Even if people talk and talk just go ahead, at last they will get tired of talking.

But when you get married there are some conditions which are: you should be faithful to each other; you or she should not have other partners. Whenever you have sex please use a condom. When she becomes pregnant by chance please advise her to go to the hospital or nearby clinic for more information on how she can prevent the baby from HIV/AIDS. Please when she is sick, care for her. Show her love because when people who are positive are not taken care of or shown love, they feel underrated. Please before you get married go to the hospital and get more information on how you are to live your marriage life. Remember that there are also some sexually transmitted infections which can be easily transmitted, so be careful brother! I also wanted to attend your wedding but it’s just that I am preparing for my mock exam. Send my regards to Aunt Rose, Sister Linda, grandma, grandpa and the rest of the family. See you when I come. All the best in life.

With lots of love.

Mwangala Liswaniso

Of course, whatever is our HIV status, positive or negative, we all deserve to have the best in life. These three things will abide with us forever: faith, hope and love!